Given the lack of true physical evidence of gods and supreme beings that control our lives, mankind has invented them, and that seems to be true of all races across the spectrum of mankind. There is nothing wrong with this, and conversely, lacking contrary evidence, the imagined being(s) may in fact be invisible but true. In addition, the comfort that religious or spiritual beliefs bring us greatly outweighs the complete dismissal of these concepts. Having said that, let me talk about one mythological creature that I truly have faith in. That creature is an obscure Japanese River God named Kappa.

Kappa wrestling a frog

Kappa is alleged to live in rivers and swampy areas, and physically he is unusual looking. He walks on all fours and his skin has reptilian scales on it. His back has a carapace similar to that of a turtle and his mouth is a beak-like structure, not unlike a parrots. But the most important physical feature is the top of his head where he has a bony structure shaped like a dish with a small hole in it. It this is peculiarity that causes grief for other creatures. This is because the dish can hold water and the hole lets it trickle down on to his brain. When that water accumulation becomes excessive, the pressure on Kappa’s brain irritates him, making him want to create problems for others. He becomes mischievous! Or, saying it another way, Kappa is bad news and a pain in the whatever!

From your point of view, you will know when you are his target when numerous petty problems begin to plague your life. For example: The car battery is dead just as you need the vehicle for an important meeting, and then, as you get the car started, you notice a large oil stain on your jacket. Of course you have to change the jacket before leaving, but when you get to the door you remember that your keys are still in the car and you must return there to get them. You get the idea! This is Kappa at work!

Now, what to do? The solution is quite simple – really. Kappa is a Japanese God, and given his ethnicity there are certain characteristics that you can expect. The first of these is politeness. Kappa is polite to a fault! The second, and from your point of view the most important, he responds to polite gestures from you. There is the solution to your problem. When you realize that Kappa is causing you grief and you want to be rid of it, a polite gesture is the answer. Turn to face west to where Kappa resides, (if you are in the United States) and politely bow to him. Kappa will return this gesture in the Japanese manner. He will bow back. Understandably, when he does that the water spills out of the depression in his head and relieves the annoying pressure on his brain. With the pressure released Kappa’s need to commit mischief disappears and your problems are over.

Does this work? I mentioned at the beginning of this essay that the one belief that I have faith in is the one involving the Japanese River God Kappa, and I have that belief because I often put the above technique into practice. I may look strange to unknowing observers as I turn west and bow, but I have gone from being harassed to tranquility in just moments – thanks to that simple bow. Try it and see if it doesn’t work for you

©  Don Hubbard 2012

Japanese statues of Mr & Mrs Kappa