MONTEZUMA, HIS REVENGE

They said, you really hadn’t oughta
Drink anything but bottled water.
And food, it must be cooked quite well.
Otherwise, you just can’t tell.
Montezuma waits, they say,
To punish those who disobey.

Well, I’ve traveled far to different ports,
And eaten food of different sorts.
So who should fear tortilla chips
or simple guacamole dips.
Yet sure as I’m not Leon Trotsky
The Trotsky’s just what I have got-ski.

The Spaniards did some awful stuff
And treated Montezuma rough.
So Montezuma should give pain
To anyone who comes from Spain.
But that’s the thing that makes me sore.
I AM NO CONQUISTADOR!